For two people to agree to get married to each other, it presupposes that they are at least open to each other about their marital status and children from . relationships. But if after getting married to someone, you discovered that your spouse has a family elsewhere which was not disclosed to you at all, Saturday Punch asked Nigerians what they would do
I would monitor her secretly – Remilekun Tomisin
If I should find out on social media that my wife has another family outside, the next thing I’ll do is to start monitoring her every move secretly and if I get nothing, I would confront her with what I saw online. If . any chance it comes out to be true, she doesn’t deserve a space in my house any longer. For her to have had another family and still get married to me without disclosing such information, she can kill and bury me somewhere and take over my property. My actions won’t be based on what I saw but what I hear from her.
I can’t live with her any longer – Ayokunle Gabriel
Finding out about something like that will mean she can kill me and I won’t make any move at all to make her suspect that I know her real colour. This will definitely lead to our separation. I cannot live with such a woman anymore, she should go back to her real family because I am of no use to her.
I would be mad – Eyituoyo Nice
Another family outside? A lot of questions would definitely run through my mind at that moment. If it’s a legal marriage that she had, she is leaving my house but if it’s a family she once had and she didn’t tell me about it, I would be mad. But for her to have another family outside and not tell me, she is devilish. If I still allow her under my roof, I will be signing my own death warrant. She doesn’t have any choice, she is leaving my house immediately.
I would be angry but won’t send her out – Afolabi Oluwatimilehin
I will make sure it’s not just on social media because things on social media at times may not be real. I’ll go out to find out why, when and where. My spouse isn’t just a friend as long as we’re married; so being mad at her is allowed but sending her packing isn’t going to change the situation.
I would not mind bringing the other children into my house- Alasa Abass
That would be a big heart break for me to find out my wife has another family elsewhere but, I will first of all confirm the issue and I would not ask her immediately. I will investigate the whole thing without her knowing and won’t mind hiring someone to assist me out too. If investigation comes out that she truly has another family elsewhere, then I will call her attention to the matter. There are lots of ways to handle this situation because I cannot just let her go like that, I love my wife. I will forgive her but, the trust will not be there anymore and if the other man would not allow peace reign, she will have to choose where to stand. If she decides to stay with me, I won’t mind her bringing the other children into my house but obviously with the consent of their father. She would not have to divide her attention and be psychologically unstable.
I will confront him with his lies – Bolanle Aliu
If I find out on social media that my spouse has another family somewhere, well at first I will be mad at him. But for the sake of the future and my children, I will apply wisdom because I won’t want them to be affected negatively. I will confront him and make sure he put things right. But if he does not change or stop his lies, I won’t do anything because I don’t want anything to happen to my children. Moreover, it is something that can still work out.
I will not leave him – Ajiboye Bukola
Oh well since we are married, I wouldn’t have any choice but to accept the family at that moment. But I will definitely be angry and that is normal. I will accept it as my fate because if I decide to leave him for another man, I am not sure of what will happen to me and for the sake of my kids, I have to stay and endure it.
Whatever he says will determine my action – Adesanya Dejoke
First of all, I would feel very bad. I would make sure I have all the evidence to tackle him on the matter, then confront him. So whatever he says would determine my next line of action. But trust me, I wouldn’t leave my marriage for any reason because it is for better for worse. He is not a violent type, so it is easy for me to confront him and ask if anything was going wrong.
He must will all his property to me and my children – Titi Akinsulie
I would ask him gently for the truth. If it turns out to be true, I’ll tell him that as far as I’m concerned, I never knew anything about it. But he must will all his property except a building for them. If he has like ten properties, he can give them two to sustain themselves because when we were gathering all these properties together, they were not there. I don’t like scandal and there is nothing new under the sun. It happens every day. No woman marries a married man for love.
I will move out – Oduola Olabisi
This is a tough one. Best thing I can do is to leave the man if he could keep such a thing from me, only God knows what other terrible things I might find out about him. I’d need to move on with my life and be strong for my kids because I can not take the position of a second wife. I can’t stay in the same house with him anymore because if he can hide such a thing from me, he can kill me one day. It might not be the best thing to do and I pray it doesn’t happen but I will be left with no choice but to leave him so he can enjoy his time with the family he kept away from me. A home built on lies is one that can collapse anytime, so before it collapses, it’s better to move out.