In the simplest terms, relationship red flags are those things you see in a potential partner that make you want to sit back and reconsider whether they’re indeed right for you or not.
So you slide into a lady’s DM on Instagram and she’s polite and has lit responses and not one-liners or anything of the sort.
Your convos extend beyond the first time and somehow, the chats become a ritual till you both decide to go on a date. I mean, you’ve got to see her at some point, right?
So you go on that date only to find out that she’s actually rude and condescending. She treats the waitresses and other attendants with such disgust that takes you aback and makes you wonder if she’s actually worth pursuing afterall.
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That’s the thing with relationship red flags. Everyone has something they can’t stand in anyone that’s going to end up being their girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife.
In Eniola Abumere‘s Youtube vlog published on Sept. 20, he says being self-absorbed is one habit that he can’t deal with in a woman.
Alongside his guest, Nkem Edem, who writes lifestyle over at Bella Naija, habits such as being too quick to express love and carelessly throwing around words of endearment were listed as red flags.
Physical and emotional abuse are also listed as things partners should never overlook, especially if it manifests before things get serious, as in a marriage. And this is why it is absolutely important to never ignore the things you personally consider as red flags – you are securing your peace of mind and happiness.
Refusing to talk about the thing that irks you about him or her, refusing to call them out on those things and demand for a change is to give them a free pass to keep doing those things and continue robbing you of happiness and a healthy relationship.
You also deny yourself of a healthy atmosphere in the relationship when you let these red flags slide. Resentment always mounts when a partner does something you should speak about or do something about, but you choose to do so.
No matter what your reasons are, whether for an apparent keeping of peace or others, it does not make sense to continuously overlook things that you are not cool with. Your happiness, stability, mental health and even your life depends on the refusal to be lukewarm, or worse, to even accept these behaviours.
Once you spot that red flag, speak about it. While at it, bear in mind that there is a difference between criticising and actually critiquing a thing. But stay vigilant and observant. Time often reveals change that is true and one that is not.
In the end, if these do not work, you know better than to stay and gamble with your heart, happiness… and even your life.