YIKES. 12 Scary Signs You’re In Love With A Man-Child, Not A...

YIKES. 12 Scary Signs You’re In Love With A Man-Child, Not A Man


So you finally found THE guy – or at least you think you have. He seems fairly normal and looks the other way when your less-than-lady-like belching gets the best of you. But is he *really* the one? Sure, it’s easy to think he’s perfect when he’s fixing your sink but does that make him a perfect partner?

Some will say there’s no sure-fire way to tell if your guy is Mr. Right or Mr. Mistake I Wish I Didn’t Make, but I disagree: The key to knowing if you’ve got the right guy is to figure out if he’s a real man or if he’s just playing one to get into your pants (and to get his washed).

How do you know for sure? Here’s a few ways I’ve learned that my man is for real and not just your everyday man-child:

1. MAN: He actually pays for a gym membership and then uses said membership to go to the gym to exercise

MAN-CHILD: He thinks carrying the keg from the car to the garage counts as cardio.

2. MAN: He no longer wears shirts with childish phrases on them in public

MAN-CHILD: He thinks his “Certified Lady Pleaser” t-shirt is perfectly appropriate to meet your parents.

3. MAN: He legitimately helps to clean up around the house because he knows it’s shared responsibility

MAN-CHILD: He thinks a wipe with his sleeve is a substitute for a paper towel.

4. MAN: He stifles a giggle when someone says words like “b**bs” or “balls”

MAN-CHILD: He proudly adds “That’s what she said” to nearly every sentence.

5. MAN: He uses silverware, eats at a respectable pace, and exhibits proper dining manners

MAN-CHILD: He still boasts about his mashed potato fort from two weeks ago.

6. MAN: He cleans up well in a collared shirt and tie

MAN-CHILD: He thinks his tuxedo t-shirt is perfect for literally any formal occasion.

7. MAN: He cheers an appropriate amount at the ball game

MAN-CHILD: He’s lucky his foul mouth doesn’t get him thrown out during the game for throwing his beer at the players.

8. MAN: He showers every day And uses soap.

MAN-CHILD: He only showers when there’s a chance he could get laid. But it has to be a very strong chance.

9. MAN: The only time he sees a.m. is when he gets up to pee.

MAN-CHILD: He thinks 2 a.m. is the perfect time for a beer run. Or MarioKart.

10. MAN: He replaces the toilet paper when it runs out even if he puts it on backwards

MAN-CHILD: He skips that step and figures he’ll “get it next time” when there’s a new roll.

11. MAN: He’s a really good listener and actually turns down the TV when you’re talking

MAN-CHILD: He thinks saying “Uh huh” and “Yup” while playing video games makes him a rock star listener.

12. MAN: He helps you with the grocery shopping and buys his own Cheetos and beer

MAN-CHILD: He doesn’t set foot in a grocery store because he can get all of his essentials at




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