By Bunmi Sofola

IF you are in your late 40s or early 50s, chances are your husband or partner is years older than you and is not likely to bunk you till you drop as you would have wished for. A few weeks back when I wrote of the antics of a toy boy, some of my friends, and you readers weren’t amused.

A lot of you have your own ideas of what a toy boy should be. “They might fancy themselves professional heart breakers,” wrote in Pamela, “but what they really are are opportunists after all they can get from you. The average handsome toy boys have trained themselves to prey on rich women. But older women are beating these leeches at their own games.

Lovers

“These men are nothing but male whores. Far from their female counterparts who stand around on street corners with handbags, they lurk in bars, restaurants, clubs and try to convince women that they fancy the pants off them, then trick them into paying for their pleasures. What they don’t know is that these women see them as providing off-the-shelf sex. They can pick and choose any man they fancy—just like in a supermarket.

So when a woman finds a toy-boy she fancies, she pays the price and takes her purchase home. If he lives up to expectations, she keeps him for a while, give him a bonus and puts him back on the market for someone else to sample. She never keeps in touch and doesn’t get involved with his life. Calculating? Of course!

Acouple of weeks back, an old colleague of mine, Stella told me of how she was leaving a party and working on the security gadgets of her car when a young chap in his 30s staggered to the nearest gutter and took out his tackle. She watched wide-eyed at what she saw and stood transfixed until he’d finished.

She then got out of the car,joked about what she’d seen to her prey and told him she’d love for them to get together. She gave him her call card and the rogue didn’t even wait till the next day to call!

“In a relationship like that, you both know the score. I’ve seen a few of my friends get their hearts broken because they fell for men who only wanted their money. Any sane woman must wonder why a good-looking young man, who could get any girl, is chasing after a woman old enough to be his mother. My friend made it clear to love boy from the start that she didn’t want any lies or promises, just a

good time. If he keeps his part of the bargain, he gets a good golden  handshake at the end of it…. “

What these toy boys need is a good reputable agency to organise their services in a way which both sides would benefit,” Stella said when the topic came up for discussion recently. “About time someone opened an above board male brothel with good advice on safe sex, regular Aids and STD testing.

It would save a lot of hassle and as long as you’re not looking for a permanent, faithful relationship, you can have a great time. It’s when you start believing the lies that it can go horribly wrong. To see women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s, being exploited by these male whores who get their money by deception is sad.

“I personally detest the ‘I love you’ con. I know some of our friends who have fallen for it, happily parting with huge sums of money to help their scheming toy boys only to find out they never meant any more than hard cash to these men. It must be soul-destroying to discover that what you thought was a loving relationship was a complete lie from the start to finish. It is fraud or deception and it should be made illegal, with harsh sentences for those found guilty. “

I found this a bit amusing. What would you do to young women who con their sugar daddies? Before I could voice my opinion, Ann, a brash business-woman, divorced mother of two and in her 30s asked if anyone had tried a virgin? “I have,” she boasted when we looked curiously at her. “He’d been over-protected by his parents and I was sure he could hit 30 without having sex.

He was already 25, a graduate with a good job. I knew he was shy and not very clued-up, but I didn’t realise I was going to be his first. If I had, maybe I might have thought twice. Still, it was worth it just to see the way his face lit up when I asked him over to my place. The first time, it was as if nothing happened—it was all over too quickly for him. By the end of the month, he was doing quite well. He was a

quick learner and always trying to please. He virtually lived in my flat and we were at it all the time.

“Unfortunately, he got too confident and greedy. I bought him some stuffs but he wanted more. When he started taking me for his personal ATM, I showed him the door—the end of a beautiful relationship. Now that I’ve put him through his paces, he can find someone else to practice his new skill on. It would take a better man than him to part me from my hard-earned cash.

“In a way, I suppose I’m one of the ‘older’ ladies you’re always referring to, and yes, I have paid for a good seeing-to, and yes, it is worth it. The way I see it, I like choice food, so I don’t buy frozen fish—I buy fresh quality stuff. It’s the same with sex.”