Every relationship has its ups and downs, but none of the problems could be compared to the ones you have to face if you find yourself by any chance in a long-distance relationship.
A long-distance relationship is when both partners are not in the same location or geographical area. Being in a long-distance relationship has its advantages and likewise disadvantages.
But the major problem with this relationship is that the disadvantages tend to overweight the advantages.
However, long-distance relationships happen for several reasons. Many are caused due to a job transfer, schooling, search for greener pasture or change in parent’s location.
Some might not see each other in months and even years. Therefore maintaining such a relationship is tasking, needing extra commitment and willingness from both parties.
However, with the creation of the internet and new ways to connect and communicate such as Skype, e-mail, social network, and text messages, long-distance relationships have become easier and increasingly common.
Disadvantages Of Long Distance Relationship
It is not easy being in a relationship, let alone a long-distance one, where you and your partner are a thousand miles apart
But if you are with the right person then chances are it will not be difficult.
Here are 16 disadvantages of a long-distance relationship.
1. Trust Issues
When lovers are separated from each other for a long period, trust issues might set in. The couple might start suspecting and start false accusations. Even if they are faithful lovers, there will be some time when they start querying the trust because they will feel they don’t know what the other person is doing. Seeing what other people are doing around them when their partners are not around might affect their thinking and may influence their relationship.
2. You Can’t See Each Other Daily
In a “normal” romance, the relationship is often built and maintained through regular one-to-one contact and nothing beats live conversation, hugs, kisses and romantic moments spent together! Skype can make things a little bit easier because you don’t have to type you can just turn your camera on, sit back, relax and chat.
However, not even Skype can replace that wonderful feeling of knowing that your special somebody is just a phone call away. Although, all this time you spend away from each other makes you appreciate those rare, special moments you get to share. So snap as many photos as you can and look at them whenever you feel sad or lonely.
3. Physical Relationship Is Limited
Your sex life is going to be almost non-existent in a distance relationship, also things like cuddling and holding hands will be absent too. Generally, you just have words to convey your feelings and sometimes that doesn’t feel like it is enough.
The number one breaker of long-distance relationships is miscommunication. You cannot have less of it but you can have more of it. Communication must be balanced and without it, your relationship is destined to doom. Sometimes, you will feel like you and your partner are not talking enough or the opposite of that, with your partner hitting your phone up every minute both are not good indicators of a healthy relationship.
Your partner is your confidante so you should be able to tell him or her the way you feel. Do not be afraid and do not bottle up your feelings because if he or she loves you, then he or she will understand. If you are not comfortable with your partner hanging out with a particular person then do not hesitate to relate that to him or her.
If your partner is now willing to share his or her problems with you because he or she doesn’t want to bother you, then make your partner feel that you are open to helping.
Time is sometimes an unfair rival because it is something that you cannot fight against. Sometimes people in a long-distance relationship are so caught up in their own lives that they forget to spend time with their partners. Other people are so worked with their careers that they forget to make time in their busy schedules for their loved ones.
Time is even a more difficult opponent if your partner lives continents away and you two are divided by different time zones. It can be quite a problem to keep up with communicating especially if you are at work the whole day and when you call your partner, he or she is already asleep. The lack of communicating may lead to mistrust and even jealousy.
Loneliness kills faster than AIDS. A faithful partner will be lonely at times. The couple will miss each other especially during anniversaries, holidays or when they see other couples around them having good times, they will surely feel lonely.
The feelings of there are nobody to take them out for special treats cripples in and will end up making them unhappy sometimes. Some partners might even sulk at each other over trivial issues or when plans of visitation get canceled.
7. Traveling Can Get Tiresome
Whether you are traveling to another town or city each weekend to see your partner or flying to another country several times a year, the travel can become hard work over an extended period. Even though you may look forward to meeting with your partner, you can dread the travel.
8. Different Rules
Long-distance relationships work differently than regular ones. There is no room for playing hard to get or sending mixed signals. You don’t start a long-distance relationship because you are bored but because you have a feeling that a person is something special. You have to be honest and show that you are ready to commit.
You have to let that person know you are serious and that you think he/she is worth fighting for. You can’t play games. And that is one of the hardest things to get used to because we all like to play games, we think it is the way it is supposed to be.
9. Gradual Separation/Disconnection
When the distance is much and communication is being broken. The partners may start doubting the relationship which can lead to gradual withdrawal or total separation. Frequent misunderstanding, fights, and lack of trust can terminate or affect their love life which will eventually lead to the end of the relationship if care is not taken.
10. Higher Tendency To Cheat
Since the partner is not around when nature calls for sexual pleasure, a partner can be forced to have side chicks or side boos that are close by or always around. People in a long-distance relationship are prone to infidelity. In most cases, they might, unfortunately, love their new partners and stop contacting the older person or simply break up with their faraway lovers.
11. Drifting Apart
Another possibility when it comes to long-distance relationships is that if care is not taken, partners will start to drift apart. When life gets busy with work and friends or you meet someone more interesting, you might not know how to break it to someone you have been dating in a long-distance.
Your calls and texts might start to become less frequent, and eventually, you might ‘ghost’ your partner or get ‘ghosted’ by them. Being in a long-term, long-distance relationship that ends out of nowhere without any explanation can be very difficult. Chances are you will want to know why things ended but you can’t exactly go knocking on their front door demanding answers.
“What if he finds somebody else?”, “What if he gets bored of waiting?”, “What if he’s cheating?”… Even the most confident ones will face some of the long-distance relationship demons sooner or later. That is why you have to make things clear right at the beginning and find different ways to express your love and show them that the only thing that keeps you going is their love.
Send him/her a text message when he/she is not expecting it. If you are out partying call your partner to tell him how much you miss him and how much you wish he could be there to share this moment with you. These things count!
When partners are communicating through words, there is always little body language and other social clues that might surface due to the mood of the reader or the writer of the message and this is much easier for misunderstandings to occur.
Emails and texts are one of the perpetrators for causing confusion and arguments in a long-distance relationship. Another thing is if partners are in an international relationship, the different time zones can make life difficult when they are scheduling to chat. There are just a lot more things that can go wrong when they are trying to communicate over long distances.
14. Partner’s Friends And Family
One issue that is easily overlooked is that when you are in a “normal” relationship there is a tendency to have more contact with your partner’s friends and family. This is useful as you get to see your partner operating in different social contexts.
It is also important to know how well you get on with your partner’s friends and family if you plan ultimately to get into a serious relationship where you cohabit. Not having that wider contact can be a negative sign in the relationship.
Long-distance relationships cost a lot. From transportation to phone and internet bills everything costs more when you are not living in the same place. If you are both working, these things won’t have a huge impact on your relationship, but if you are not, financial problems may destroy your relationship.
Most especially for starters, long-distance relationships can be very expensive, all of the traveling involved can eat up a lot of money apart fro other expenses that will be incurred in the cause of the relationship. It may seem to mean to mention money, but the truth is that strained finances can be a source of contention in relationships, especially if one partner earns more than the other. Ideally, the costs should be shared.
If you get to know that your partner has got a new friend who is quite good in looks than you, or hotter than you are, then you might get jealous, however, you might keep it inside for long so that it bursts out on a rough day with your partner. But in order not to let jealousy set in partners can carry the other person along on how they are fairing and who they are hanging out with even when they are there.
Long-distance relationships are complicated but under the right circumstances some couples can make them work. Part of making a long-distance relationship work is knowing the pros and cons and being willing to work around them.